About Us
We’re Rotten John and Kylie — one American, one Australian, both semi-domesticated. We sold the house, sold the boat, and traded one set of engines (a Robalo with twin Yamahas) for another: a 40-foot diesel-belching Class A motorhome we now call home.
John (the “Rotten” one) is a retired U.S. Marine who spent ten post-service years herding academics before jumping into a leadership role in marine robotics. Underwater gliders, autonomous vehicles, and sensor systems were his jam — until emphysema came knocking in 2023 and started pulling the plug on life at full throttle.
Kylie (the bush-born, hair-cutting Aussie who agreed to this whole thing) spent years turning heads as a top-tier stylist. She's the pragmatic half of this duo, except when she isn’t.
Meet the Mayhem Makers
Our misadventures wouldn’t be complete without Hippy and Bennie, two rescue dogs as wonderfully screwed-up as we are.
Hippy: The over-friendly nose-in-your-mouth enthusiast who believes he’s a ferocious beast when leashed but is really a giant baby. He thinks every human is an old friend and every dog a worthy adversary, until he remembers he’s scared of loud noises.
Bennie: The shy one with Cushing’s disease and a disturbing obsession with rolling in other dogs’… well, you get the picture. Bennie is our low-key survivor who sticks close and knows how to sniff out the best (and worst) smells on the road.
They roll with us everywhere, including two pet trailers hitched to our bikes because no one gets left behind on this wild ride.
With time suddenly more valuable than money, we made the call: retire early, sell everything, and travel while we still can. No more waiting. No more wishing. Just open roads, narrow campgrounds, and the distant sound of something in the RV rattling loose.
We picked up a 2011 Forest River Berkshire 390QS in late 2024, did some DIY renovations (equal parts creativity and questionable decisions), and moved in full-time in June 2025. The house is gone. The ties are cut. There’s no going back… which honestly suits us fine.
What You’ll Find Here
- Stories from the road — the glorious, the ridiculous, and the repair-heavy
- Photos from scenic overlooks and under the RV
- Gear that works, gear that doesn't, and gear we regret owning
- Musings on freedom, mortality, and emptying the black tank
- Plenty of sarcasm, lots of profanity, and zero apologies
On the Road
The AC died. The fridge died. The floor rotted. It rained. But we didn't kill each other. Read how our first week on the road went straight to hell — and why it was still kinda awesome.
Invasion of the Broccoli Flies
Peace was restored — until broccoli triggered a full-on fly apocalypse. Towel combat, bug spray warfare, and a final ban on hot cruciferous vegetables. A must-read for pest control enthusiasts.
Lessons Learned and a Personal Hell
The maiden long-haul tow went well — until a cargo door flew open on I-75, the sun cranked itself to “oven,” and Benny unleashed the five-day poopocalypse. This one’s not for the squeamish.
Latest Update
Benny Bunghole: The Aftermath
Although Benny survived his pancreatitis siege, his sphincter has yet to regain its former glory. Every morning we now play an Easter egg hunt — searching for cold little turd nuggets that plop out as he sleeps. Not exactly the prize you want to step on before coffee.
Read the full disaster in Story #3: Lessons Learned and a Personal Hell.
Why Mayhem in 40 Feet?
Because that’s exactly what this is. A moving, groaning, barking, questionably stable attempt to squeeze as much life as we can into what time we’ve got — with laughter, foul language, beer, and maybe a few roadside repairs along the way.
This is our chaos. You’re welcome to ride along.